There’s no better time than now to pause, reflect on the past 12-months, and look ahead to what you would like to achieve or simply adjust in the new year, and beyond.  

For caregivers and those living with a mental illness, the idea of setting some big, traditional resolutions can feel overwhelming and impossible. Instead of aiming for ‘perfection’, you can shift your perspective and focus on realistic, compassionate goals that prioritize your mental health, resilience, and overall happiness.  

Why setting “realistic” goals matter 

When your days are shaped by health appointments, unpredictable symptoms, financial stress, and privacy barriers, there’s limited energy left for big sweeping life overhauls. 

Realistic goals help you acknowledge that:  

• caregiving is both love and labour; and the labour part is real. 
• flare-ups, hospitalizations, or system barriers (like privacy limitations) can derail even the best-laid plans. 
• time scarcity is constant; small actions beat grand intentions. 
• you deserve support and replenishment, not just resilience. 

Instead of resolutions that demand big outcomes (“lose x amount of weight”, “save X amount by X date”, “be more positive”), we focus on tiny habits tied to triggers you already have, and self-compassion when things go sideways. That’s what sustains change for the long haul. 

Five resolutions you can consider for your health 

1) Notice what you do well 

It’s easy to think about what didn’t get done in a day and forget about the dozens of quiet wins you accomplished: the medication you organized, the appointment you kept, the meal you cooked and ate when you were exhausted, the load of laundry you got started, the steady presence you offered to someone. Keeping a daily check-in with yourself can help at creating micro-habits that can help keep you grounded and positive. 

Try these simple practices: 

• When you brush your teeth at night name one thing you did well today (say it out loud or jot it in your Notes app). 
• It helps counter your internal “negative bias,” eases guilt, and builds self-respect, which is the foundation of sustainable self-care. 
• When you are waiting somewhere, instead of scrolling, close your eyes and ask yourself “What would I thank myself for right now if I were my own best friend?” 
• It shifts your perspective from self-criticism to self-appreciation, gently reminding you that even small acts-like taking a breath or setting boundaries-are signs of strength and care. 

2) Cherish supportive people 

It hurts when the people you hoped would show up…don’t. You can’t force their change, but you can invest where support is real. 

• Practice sending one message to someone who helps you out; a neighbour, a peer/friend in your support group, a home health aide. 
• Set boundaries for chronic non-helpers, reduce emotional labour (less chasing, fewer explanations). 
• The result is more energy for the relationships that actually sustain and refreshes you. 

For example, you could send a short text like:  

“Thinking of you. Your {what they helped you with: check-in, helping hand, meal, etc.) last week meant a lot. Thanks for being there.” 

💡 Saving a few simple message templates can help you stay in touch with people on days when you don’t have much energy.   

3) Protect time just for you (even in small slices) 

Self-care shouldn’t be considered a luxury; it’s how you keep caregiving safely. Start tiny and concrete when setting time boundaries: 

• Choose one 30–60-minute block (or however long you feel comfortable taking) a week that’s non-negotiable. It’s your time.  
• Name it something fun like ‘my bubble time’ or ‘my power hour’ (this is your time for movement, journaling, crafting, nature sound bath walk—whatever truly recharges you). 
• Saying no and setting boundaries. For example,  
• “Thank you for asking, but that isn’t going to work out for me.”  
• “I can’t put anything else on my calendar this month, but I’d love to do that with you sometime. Will you call me before you go again?” 

Blocking time out for the things you need to do to feel calm makes it totally clear to others when you’re just not available. This makes it much easier to give good no. 

4) Recognize your growth, even when it feels hard 

Caregiving will grow and test your patience, advocacy skills, and confidence. Once a month try and: 

• Reflect on what did you navigate this month that used to overwhelm you? 
• Update your notes or journal. Even one sentence in your note’s app like, “I’m becoming someone who…”, can help keep you connected to the present. 
• Share your feelings. If it feels right, celebrate big and little wins with your support circle. 

Seeing how far you’ve come builds self-confidence and reminds you that resilience isn’t about never struggling, it’s about continuing anyway. 

5) Aim for moments of joy and notice the everyday glimmers  

Joy doesn’t automatically take away stress or sadness from our hearts but it can coexist with them. Caregiving often feels heavy, so noticing small, ordinary pleasures can make hard days feel lighter.  

These “glimmers” are those fleeting, tiny moments of joy, peace, or connection in daily life:  

• sunlight shimmering on the water 
• the sound of laughter  
• the smell of fresh rain 
• hearing your favorite song  
• the smell of fresh coffee.  

Within those moments try and set a micro-practice, for example, when you notice a glimmer (the smell of your favorite dish, a funny animal interaction) pause and name it silently: “That’s a glimmer.”. It helps because these moments train your brain to register calm and safety helping reduce overall stress. 

Progress over perfection  

Caregiving and living with mental illness are not challenges solved by lofty resolutions, they are ongoing journeys that deserve compassion, flexibility, and community.  

This year, instead of chasing perfection, choose small, sustainable practices that honor your reality: noticing your wins, protecting your time, cherishing support, recognizing growth, and savoring the everyday glimmers of joy. 

Remember: setbacks are normal. What matters most is how gently you restart. Self-compassion isn’t weakness, it’s the fuel that keeps you moving forward. 

You’re not alone 

If you or someone you know needs emergency services, here is a list of contacts and resources. 

9-1-1 is the number to call in an immediate emergency. 

The 310 – Mental Health support line is available 24 hours per day across BC: Call 310-6789 (no area code needed) toll-free anywhere in BC to access emotional support, information and resources specific to mental health and substance use issues. 

If you need support, visit bcss.org or call our provincial support line at 1-888-888-0029. 

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